An orgasm is the climax of a sexual pleasure. It normally characterized by a group of involuntary contraction of the muscles in the sexual organ, the anus, and the low part of the pelvic bone. Normally, the effect of an orgasm is presided by the endorphins. The orgasm from one individual to the next is never the same. The male goes through a rapid and a rhythmic contraction in their urethra, the prostrate, and those muscles located at the base of their penis. This is then followed by semen ejaculation, which normally from the opening of the urethra through the penis. This feeling is usually experienced in a period ranging between 4and 10 seconds. Orgasm is independent of ejaculation, meaning that it is possible for a person to experience an orgasm without necessarily ejaculating and vice versa.
Once one has already experienced an orgasm, the male normally goes through a period called refractory. The refractory period is a short duration after the firing of the nerve cell, here, the nerves are incapacitated to receiving an additional stimulation during this duration of refractory, one never experiences another orgasm. Therefore, it is essential to note that, for males, the widely known way of getting an orgasm is through stimulating the penis.
In case of the female, their body morphology compared to the male is remarkably different; therefore, the process of stimulation is hugely different compared to that of the male. The walls of their vagina normally moisten followed by the enlargement of the clitoris. The clitoris goes below its' hood, once this happens, the vagina becomes a bit small by approximately a one-third its normal size. The uterus, pelvic muscle and the vagina experience a rhythmic contraction. However, it is worth noting that, the female unlike the male, never experience a period of refractory. Their common method of getting this orgasm is through the stimulation of their clitoris. There are a number of ways through which the stimulation of the clitoris can be achieved, these methods are; either through non-penetrative or penetrative sexual intercourse, through masturbation either assisted by a partner or alone, and other sexual activities known to be exotic. During an orgasm, there is a tendency of a person experiencing a heart rate change, the depth, the respiratory rate, and blood pressure. At this time, there is a feeling of an intense and explosive pressure. The women have the capability of getting a series of orgasm in case she persists with the stimulation, on the other hand, the men can never get the a series of orgasm but can only get one orgasm at a time.
Female’s orgasm is extremely difficult to achieve compared to that of the male counterparts. It has been note that about 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm at all. As opposed to the males, when it comes to the female, an orgasm is never a prerequisite for a pregnancy. There have been theories that try to explain about the female orgasm. These theories are; mate selection, pair bonding, and enhancement of fertility. The pair bonding theory gives a suggestion that the orgasm in the female is meant to bond the partners, making sure that two partners for an offspring, on the other hand, mate selection have a suggestion of giving the women an orgasm in knowing the quality of their partners. Finally, when it comes to the theory of fertility, it explains on the importance of the contraction of the uterus during an orgasm as a sure way that assists the sucking of sperm in to the uterus.
There is also the theory of by-product, which suggests that orgasm of female comes as an incidental result of the males’ organism. A number of studies have significantly disapproved this theory. The researchers Pekka Santtila and Brendan Zietsch looked at the orgasm similarities between male and female twins. Owing to the existing difference between the male and female orgasm, they had different question for both male and female. The male were asked about the duration they took for them to have an orgasm while having sex, while the female were asked to answer the question about the frequency of having an orgasm while having sex. These researchers noticed an exceptionally strong orgasmability relation between the twins of the same sex and a weaker but still relevant relationship among the none-identical twins of the same sex. It is necessary to note that there was no any orgasm relationship whatsoever, for the twins from the opposite sex. This research was meant to indicate that, even though the female and male orgasm functioning is extremely dictated by the genes, there is no any existence of a relationship in orgasm in cross-sex. The women orgasm was independent of their brothers’. This automatically disqualifies the by-product theory.
Orgasm is known to give women an extremely rewarding feel after asexual intercourse. This, therefore, adds the frequency during which they are engaged in a sexual intercourse, because of this there is an improvement of their fertility. There is a minimal relationship between the libido and the orgasm of the women. For this reason, the selection pressure among women could be exceedingly difficult explaining why a considerable number of women either rarely experiences orgasm or have never experienced orgasm in their lives during sex (Muchembled, 2008).
It has been noted that, in present days, most women want to experience orgasm than it was the case in olden days. Their lack of interest for having an orgasm in the past was because they were not well informed about the orgasm. Some doctors argue that most women saw it as ‘normal’ to not experiencing orgasm. Nowadays, their opinion as far as orgasm is concerned has hugely changed. The doctors who advise them that every woman should be capable of experiencing an orgasm have substantially contributed this change of opinion. The sex specialists have gone further explaining why most women are capable of experiencing multiple orgasms. Multiple orgasm is common to female than it is for the male, this is because males’ orgasm are not achieved in the series but rather it occurs in a single phase while in case of the women, their orgasms can persist as long as the stimulation continues. It is vital to note that though most women can achieve multiple orgasms, they are incapacitated by the skills of doing it. This can, however, be enhanced by the assistance of a skilled lover.
In bringing women to a climax, the most valuable thing to note is that to achieve a climax it is not a mechanical process as it is for the men. Most male can quickly ejaculate by the mere rubbing of the penises. For men this can be achieved even if the circumstances through which this process is taking place is not romantic, or they do not like the person performing the act of rubbing their penis. On the other hand, the case is hugely different for the women since, their orgasm is not a onetime thing. In trying to assist the women to achieve an orgasm, the existing conditions must be right. Although, there is always a difference in people’s taste and preferences, most women prefer almost the same condition for achieving an orgasm. For an effective orgasm, the surrounding through which the activities are taking place should be highly romantic this works a long in making the woman feel relaxed; the environment should also be comfortable and pleasant. This surrounding helps in reducing or even eliminating any tension that might hamper with the process of achieving an orgasm (Lloyd, 2003).
Another factor that is particularly vital for women to achieve an orgasm is being with the partners whom they truly like; this gives women a sense of being a loved a feeling that makes them excited. It also makes them have a feeling of being appreciated and wanted. This has a psychological effect to women in that they feel relaxed and forget all their fears. One should also carry along a nature lubricant that has a superior flow. The lubricant is meant to protect the woman’s delicate parts for becoming sore. The importance of this lubricant as far as orgasm is concerned is that, any pain during this time substantially reduces the chances of achieving an orgasm. Finally, it is extremely crucial for a woman to be with a skilled partner who is capable of stimulating the clitoris without causing any injury or stopping the stimulation before the woman achieves a climax. The man should be extremely patient with the women and focus on the goal of achieving a climax. Therefore, he should not be selfish.
Once the partner is not able to provide the necessary conditions, achieving a climax will become a mirage. It should be known that, far from the perception of men, that sexual intercourse can yield an orgasm there is more to it than meets the eye. The reason why sexual intercourse cannot yield to an orgasm by its self is that, it does not offer a compelling stimulation to women clitoris. Therefore, it is a necessity for an additional stimulation, which could be attained by either using one mouth or fingers. The man should understand the likes and dislikes of their partners to avoid the incidences of wasting time on a technique that will not yield an orgasm. The partner should therefore, be extremely sensitive as far as their partner’s wants are concerned (Margolis, 2004).
The partner should be ready to give the woman a long foreplay than men do. The women like a feeling of knowing that their partners are exceptionally keen of providing them with much pleasure. As opposed to feeling that, their partners are only after their own sexual satisfaction. This makes the women feel used and this substantially affects the women psychologically resulting to minimal or zero orgasm. This is due to feeling of inadequacy, which significantly affects any development of sexual pleasure bring tension to the women.
Therefore, for a woman to achieve an orgasm on a regular basis, the partner should never be hasty for an effective orgasm. It is also advisable for the partner not be over demanding as this may bring tension between the partners, which affects the efficiency of the action. There should always be a dialogue between the partners, for this is the only way that the partners get to know each other’s need a pertaining the presence of an orgasm. The partners should make a point of always creating a romantic environment as this helps in reducing any occurrence of tension. Once the place is romantic, there is always a creation of psychological relaxation, which brings about the excitement among the partner. Once the place is romantic, the mind becomes prepared of what is going to happen next, as opposed to forcing a person who is not ready for a sexual encounter (Fulbright, 2003).
Everything should be compassionate and comfortable, followed by appropriate touching by the partner and not applying unnecessary force as this might hurt the partner. It is always beneficial to use own lubricants, which is used for moistening the clitoris, but in the event that the partner is more than 40 years, then there should be an addition of lubricants obtained from either a sex shop or a chemist. Although, it is a concept that is normally overlooked the man should encourage their partner to stimulate themselves as they look on as this will help a man in knowing how their partner would prefer to be touched. For a regular orgasm, the man should always listen to their partner in the event they suggest on a change of position or for a caress.
In conclusion, it is crucial to note that, the G spot is a minute area in a vagina, which when stimulated has the capability of producing wild and intensive orgasm. In the past the existence of this region was not known, but in the year 2008, a researcher from Italy come up with anatomical difference that existed among those women who possessed the orgasm of the G spot and those who could not. Their study has come a long way in assisting the women know how to make use of their G spots. Once the women achieve their orgasm, the major part of their brain switches off as opposed to the men who experience a shorter orgasm period. A good number of women suffer from female sexual dysfunction (FSD), a condition that limits the chances of most women achieving an orgasm. Studies also show that 45% of women variation is capable of having an orgasm is due to genes. This could be because of other existing external factors such as the upbringing, although the gene factor is significant.