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Various cultures and religions define marriage differently. Marriage is the union between two individuals, called spouses, which involves a legal and binding agreement. Marriage is one of the earliest hallmarks of the human civilization and, it is true to say, the marriage institution has existed for a long period of time. Marriage is typical of humans since animals do not formally marry. For many centuries, the only acceptable form of marriage has been the one between a man and a woman. In the past, polygamous marriages or the marriages in which a man has more than two wives were the order of the day. Today, the same statement elicits the widespread criticism and rebuke, particularly from females. The controversy becomes aggravated on a gay marriage. In the recent past, many people gravely opposed the same sex marriage.


The attitude towards gay marriages has been an uncompromising, especially in the less developed and the developing nations, called the third world and the second world countries. The question of whether to allow gay marriages or not has been a sensitive and touching topic. Sensitive because it cannot be mentioned without getting an opposite and venomous reaction from the public and touching because in the midst of all these debates, discussions and disagreements, gay people or homosexuals rarely get the chance to give their views by taking  part in these discussions. Intriguingly, these debates should determine their fate and place in the society. This puts gays in an awkward situation if not a dilemma. The experiences they undergo in the hands of the public make them remain in their cocoons, for they fear the repercussions of being frank while telling the world that they are different.  However, nothing is wrong with being different. In this century, every person deserves his or her right to decide the fate.

Legislature passes laws, governing the existence, duties and interactions of citizens. This is one more milestone in the quest for civilization and even further progress. The same laws should protect all citizens, stipulate a code of conduct among them and ensure no violation of rights. Supposedly, laws serve all people without any discrimination or segregation. It would not be fair, therefore, to pass laws that will undermine a person’s sexual affiliation. That would be retrogressive and would amount to going against convictions and aspirations as a generation that looks forward to an all-inclusive world without sexual discrimination. In the light of this, the question whether same sex marriages should be allowed remains unanswered.

One of the rights that most, if not all the constitutions all over the world provide is the right to be happy. Just like any other citizen, gay people have a right to be happy, to have joy and bliss in their lives. It is arguable whether allowing gay marriages guarantee everything will be perfect. It can never be a smooth sail and that is what makes us human. Change is uncomfortable, but a constant thing in life. The allowance of gay marriages is a significant step forward, a significant change and there will be the obstacles along the way towards making this a reality. For a human race it is evident from psychological, religious and social progress that we are far better than the contemporaries and predecessors. We should not water down such progress by going back to the old dark days of Yore.

Opinions clash, nations division, controversies that spring up and the problems which arise around gay marriage discussions. Without a doubt, conflicts may appear on the ground of the legalization of gay marriages. One of the issues is the impact of gay marriages on the social scene, more particularly, on the family set up. Most communities and societies consider children to be the fruits of a marriage. Any marriage that does not yield “fruit” is null, according to the advocates of this suggestion. It is also clear that same sex marriages fail to give birth to children. Adoption agencies could remarkably well be helpful. However, this puts the question of the legal grounds for the allowance of the families to adopt. Some of the criteria adoption agencies look out for include stable families, possibly with prior parental experience. Most agencies do not specify the type of the family, whether it is to be a same sex marriage family or not, and instead presume that it is a family made up of a man and a woman. An alternative suggestion would be applicable to the scientific advancement in conceiving a child, for example, the test tube babies. This, however, is likely to fuel to the fire and take the controversy to an entirely new level.

Looming trouble lies in the name of society. Social stigma, other than the gays’ close family, who in time may learn to accept the individual for who he/she is, the society in general may not be supportive. Most religions frown upon the same sex marriages and this does not help matters. People look up to the church for guidance, especially on the issues pertaining to marriage. When the same church refuses to acknowledge gay marriages, the congregation follows this, as if it were a command. Gay people are in turn likely to forego visiting the church altogether and making appearances in public for fear of reprimanding. This, in effect, leads to their detachment from the rest of the world and a lonely life, since in life a person needs more than just the lover or the spouse near them. Sometimes, the rest from daily routine is important. Simply, in the world of gay individuals, this is hard to find.

Internal conflicts and disagreements that come from every family’s set up. One way of solving some of these conflicts is through the involvement of an external party, when the disagreeing couple cannot settle the issue amicably. For a gay couple, the odds befall them. Few people would want to be involved in such processes of acting that go between the disagreeing couple. This leaves the gay couple with fewer chances of getting professional assistance for their problems. Another vital issue may be the hierarchy in the family. Though this is less likely to cause conflict in a gay marriage, it may, at times, be an issue worth causing a disagreement. In the family, set up by a man and a woman, there is the family head, who is mostly represented by a man. The head of the family is responsible for various duties, including making key decisions and being the leader of the family. This brings us the question of who is a head of the same sex family? Furthermore, the fact of who makes key decisions and leads the family is to be clearly understood?

Gay spouses are not eligible to receive any spousal benefits on the demise of their partners as stipulated in the laws of most countries. This adds another twist to the tale. With the current economic situation worldwide, this is nothing but a setback to the gay community. The inability to acquire the wealth accrued in the same sex marriage is also disheartening. That would be immensely disheartening. People should allow gay marriages not because they are good, not because of pity to the gay community, but because of the liberty to marry the people they choose.

In conclusion, there are many factors to consider while debating about a gay marriage. Many people still hold on to their culture, beliefs or social structures. However, it is evident that the question about one’s right to choose has gone a notch higher. An increasing number of people in different nations all over the globe continually accept the idea of living with gay people. This acceptance has led to the increase of the number of gay marriages in some states in the United States. However, this does not underscore the challenges that gay people face in other parts of the world, especially in Africa where the cultural virtues are highly guarded. Significantly, gay marriage defies the nature of human anatomy and productivity. It is a big challenge to give birth in a gay marriage, hence there is need to incorporate technological devices to counter the problem. However, the use of test tube babies does not help men currently. This is just one example of the challenges that are caused by the appearance of gay marriages. Conclusively, gay marriage is a personal decision which will remain dubious.

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